Joanne and her accident
October 14th, 2010 by adminIt had been several months since she had gotten her car back - repaired and shiny again. However, Joanne was noticing that the panic attacks she had been having ever since the accident were getting worse, and they were happening more often.
In fact, Joanne had not been able to drive herself anywhere for the past 4 weeks because as soon as she was behind the wheel, her heart rate increased, her vision blurred, a cold sweat came over her and her breathing became difficult. When driving a car or in any circumstance this is incredibly frightening and debilitating.
She had been to her doctor who had prescribed antidepressants and he had advised in a matter of fact tone that she was having panic attacks. She didn’t find that particularly helpful because all that she wanted was to have them STOP. His suggestion for counseling was quite typical; unfortunately our family physicians are stretched to the limit and are simply not aware of all of the different options people have to aid them in their struggles. They also don’t have information or resources to be able to offer direct assistance when the person requires more specialized intervention or care, nor should they be expected to!
Joanne had heard through a friend that I might be able to offer her some options and so she came to see me (after finding someone to bring her to the office.)
I have seen a number of people who suffer through anxiety and panic attacks and some have lived with them for years. There is such a stigma around a person’s ’strength’ and ‘inability to just get over it’ that many times a person become very isolated in their embarrassment as well.
Joanne and I took some time to explore the characteristics and the different aspects of her physiological experience and her thought processes before, during and after an ‘incident’ as she referred to them. As we did so, I began pointing out similarities in her patterns to other areas of her life that she struggled with. Sometimes when we have a ‘problem’ in one area it replicates itself in another context like simple decision making or being in relationship with a ‘particular personality type’.
Joanne was grateful for the insight but from my perspective we were only beginning. I then helped her to explore some of the fundamental triggers and needs that were at the base of her panic - which for the interest of someone who has never explored in this way before, had very little to do with the accident that seemed to cause them in the first place. The accident was a useful time for them to manifest in a very uncomfortable experience for Joanne though!
We worked together for a total of 3 sessions, with the final being mainly for follow up. Joanne was thrilled to have ‘gotten over’ her panic attacks and felt as though a load had been lifted from her. She now has new patterns and skills that she can apply in future scenarios that used to previously cause her fear and discomfort.
Angry, hopeless Geoff
October 10th, 2010 by adminThirty-something-Geoff represents a number of clients that I have sat with over the last couple of years. He was really frustrated, and depressed at the same time. As he recounted where he was at 2 years ago, it was a familiar tale. His marriage was shaky at best with a young child they were ’staying together for’, his friends were always busy with their own lives and his job was ‘just a job’. Nothing exciting; he’d fought his way into a half decent position even though he still thought he deserved better.
Skip ahead to a ‘downturn in the economy’ and a restructuring meeting that resulted in a pink slip meaning he was out of the unrewarding job.
He thought he was going to find his footing in a new business venture after being downsized from a corporate job. After all, he had always wanted to have his own company and this seemed like the perfect time to jump in. His wife was as supportive as she could be - what with a 4 year old and now a 9 month old baby at home with her. But she was tired of trying to stay positive, and of course, she was worried about their future too. They were still just keeping it together as a couple, but there certainly wasn’t any fun in this thing called marriage. Geoff was admittedly not as ‘present’ a father as he could be, and yet he just didn’t seem to have the patience or desire to connect with the family that was depending on him. He stated that he ‘just wanted to get away, to have some me time’ which to an outsider may have seemed like the most irresponsible thing he could do in these troubled times.
Geoff’s new business wasn’t going well, and he was finding that he would get angry at the slightest comments people would say. Client’s were ‘idiots’ and his wife was ‘demanding’. His kids ‘wore on his patience’ and he didn’t know why he was bothering to stick around. He caught himself ‘flipping out’ when the kids would get upset and he was very shut down from his wife.
Every direction he looked he saw failure.
When Geoff came to see me he said "I just don’t know what to do anymore. I know I have to do something but I have no idea what it is, and if I don’t figure it out I’m going to lose everything."
We got to work in that very first session. Geoff explored the "it" that he ‘needed to figure out’ and got clearer about what was important to him. I walked him though a very powerful process that enabled him to take responsibility for his choices and his lack of commitment where his family was concerned. He quickly realized that his desire to push his wife and kids away was a pattern that was really intended to fulfill a deep need for connection and peace inside himself; something that he needed to choose rather than earn, or get from the world around him. Geoff’s ‘a-ha’ moment came once he learned to identify with some of his own core values rather than what he thought he ’should’ be doing with his life. This in turn impacted his reactive anger which, according to him, ‘dissolved away as if it was a sandstone carving in a warm pool of water’.
That was a memorable description indeed.
How people find themselves stuck
September 9th, 2010 by adminWhen pain intrudes unexpectedly, our ‘reality’ gets shaken up.
Pain or painful episodes can be the result of common life experiences, accidents, personal relationships, illness, disappointments or extraordinary experiences like violence, abuse, terrorist attacks, war or natural disasters.
I recently did a presentation on Trauma and Recovery and one of the interesting comments made by an audience member was- "This (the process of recovery) is interesting because it’s relevant to any painful event - How many of us took 10 years before we could say we were over a bad highschool experience? If only we had some different skills or tools back then!"
What various traumatic and painful events or situations show is that the external world is not always controllable – regardless of how much we know or what resources we may have.
If someone has a painful experience, the scope of the perceived control tends to quickly shrink from a large umbrella outside of ourselves to a focus on our internal world.
We hear people explain in words what happens to them:
- I felt like I was kicked in the stomach
- My world fell away
- I wanted to curl up in a ball
- I’m so disoriented -I can only see with tunnel vision
- In a world of my own
- No one else could ever understand
Pain may have begun on the outside, but it lives on on the inside in the form of painful memories, difficult emotions, negative thoughts, unpleasant urges, and/or automatic reactions.
That is often the problem and how people find themselves stuck – they get stuck in the internal scope of where the pain lives on. The initial event is likely not still occurring as it was a moment in time - and so the suffering is in the ongoing pain that is related. Hence the phrase "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
In my practice, I teach that a life is to be lived with a past exactly as it is since we have no ability to change it, but with a future as open and broad as your deepest core values.
When we learn to feel feelings as feelings and think thoughts as thoughts, instead of turning them into destructive behaviour we can learn that feelings and thoughts alone cannot hurt us unless we let them. They are just feelings and thoughts.
You cannot WILL yourself to forget
July 9th, 2010 by adminCan you really will yourself to feel differently? Takes an awful lot of effort for pretty dismal results if any at all. Sometimes it can take a lifetime to ‘try’ and forget something.
Give this a shot.
MAKE yourself have a crush on someone – go on, FORCE yourself to have all those sweet, loving, warm bits of excitement and longing for someone you didn’t previously have them for. Right now - go ahead, do it! Tough eh? We can’t just turn them on and decide to have the feelings that represent a full on crush.
Yet in many cases, we are told by society that we have to change our feelings.
- Difficult emotions and thoughts should not exist
- If they do they should be controlled
- We can make our feelings positive
- Having positive feelings can stop bad things from happening.
We all find ourselves in uncomfortable and difficult situations that can lead to pain or troublesome emotions.
The problem is, we can’t just get rid of the bad feelings because we haven’t all learned the skills or the characteristics of change…yet.
Those who have experienced more severe forms of pain & trauma are in a real double bind.
Often there are strict instructions:
Not to have it
No talking about it
No showing it
Don’t even think about it
Don’t air your dirty laundry,
Just don’t.
Complete Avoidance.
Problem is, we do not have control inside the skin where the emotions and feelings are, that we perceive we have on the outside.
Try and control yourself – sounds like a great idea and lots of people may have told you in your lifetime to "Stop being so miserable and get over it" – or "Quit your crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."
We can manipulate the external to appease the demand - but the pain still exists inside the skin. Therefore attempts at controlling enduring or deep pain often cause it to turn into suffering.
The EFFORTS to ‘try not to have the feelings, memories or thoughts’ associated with life experiences that might have hurt us or been tough, are the basis of the suffering.
What is a Change Strategist Anyway?
June 7th, 2010 by adminThe Change Strategist…? What do you do?
In fact, that is precisely the question I was hoping for as I established ‘The Change Strategist’ as my occupational title when I founded Drop in the Pond.
One of the greatest differences between my approach and what some people may have experienced in the past with a therapeutic process or coaching, is that first and foremost I don’t believe that change always has to take a long time, or that it always has to be difficult and painful .
If you know me, or if you have heard me speak, you may have heard me say that my absolute favourite thing to do is to help people slow down just long enough so that you can discover where you are unfulfilled or where you may be settling in your life. And then what I do is explore with questions and experiential processes to discover those sought after A-HA moments that begin to reshape your reality.
More specifically what I do is I meet with people one on one, and through conversation we develop some commonalities and understanding about the types of things I am paying attention to. By adding options and perspectives to the way you see and feel things leading up to this moment, you automatically begin to have different reactions and responses from now on. They say knowledge is power ~ wisdom is integrated knowledge that actually changes your world.
When I talk about experiential processes, what I am referring to is that we don’t just think with our brains.
The ‘thinking’ process actually happens in other parts of our bodies - and you know this when you get a ‘gut feeling’ about something or when your chest tightens if you are anxious.
It is why unconscious body language exists! Your body unconsciously contributes to the things you think - and this becomes a part of the programs you run. Within what you ‘experience’ both in your mind with the thoughts you have and the indicators your body gives you, we find valuable information.
You see, I know that we all have a history - a detailed past that for some is very troubling and even horrific. Others look back and think that the have coasted along through life without much problem or too many eventful situations. Either way, we have learned how to do what we are doing (consciously or otherwise) and you may have finally decided that you aren’t happy or that you aren’t quite where you want to be in life and maybe you even have something specific that you want to change or do differently.
My approach is to explore where your barriers are - what fears are holding you back, how do you self-sabotage? When you find yourself upset and angry, what are the values that you are unconsciously defending and how can you incorporate them to come to a resolution that maintains your own personal strength and integrity?
One of the things that people really appreciate about working with me is that I don’t actually need to hear about the context of what you are going through. That is to say, I don’t need all the details of your story in order to be effective. It can be very comforting for a perspective client to know that you and I do not have to dig up all of the past in order for you to move forward today.
The reason for this is that I pay attention to the structure of the ‘issues’ you come into my office with now. I pay attention to HOW you are doing what you do and to what supports the pattern of behaviour or thinking, in order for it to remain. When we discover the unconscious or subconscious (however you think about it) programs and patterns that are in play, we can then insert options and other possibilities which impact your results. And when we make shifts in the structure of the problem, you don’t have to consciously "remember to be different" - you simply operate from a new pattern - a new way of being that supports how you want to live your life.
Oftentimes it is relationship challenges that bring people to my office. Other times it is a particular problem at work - and a lot of the time there are overlaps. We notice our limitations and the walls we hit in both personal and professional aspects of our lives. Here are just a couple that I notice on a daily basis.
In your personal life do you find you are:
- Concerned about what other people think or say about you?
- Putting yourself second, third or more commonly, LAST?
- Unhappy with your physical health and yet not doing anything about it?
- Judgemental towards others and their choices?
- Stuck in an unpleasant mood or emotion such as irritation, shame, guilt, grief, jealousy, hurt, or loneliness?
- Uncomfortable talking to new people or asking for help?
- Often blaming the situation, other people or your ‘bad luck’ for what goes wrong?
- Wishing and hoping for things to be different?
In your professional life is it familiar for you to:
- Be nervous when asked to speak to a group?
- Procrastinate and put off tasks?
- Second guess or doubt your decisions and abilities?
- Hesitate or not ask for assistance because it might not "look good"?
- Get frustrated and feel dumped on?
- Feel upset when someone else seems to be on a power trip?
- Wish you had more confidence and self esteem?
- Look down on other people and compare yourself?
My philosophy is that as humans, it is our responsibility to seek the help we need when you need it. Fundamentally, life is meant to be peaceful, enjoyable, rewarding, fun, connected and fulfilling among many other wonderful things. If yours is not, let me help you discover a map to live your best life NOW.
Could it be that your resentment is about fearing your own greatness?
March 17th, 2010 by adminIt is amazing how our old beliefs can sneak up when we least expect it - or present themselves in a tricky veil of projection on & towards other people.
Have you ever found yourself spitting mad at someone for something that seems (even to you!) logically ridiculous? Perhaps someone has asked your opinion or requested your help and for whatever reason you find that their very presence is irritating and intrusive and you just want them to GO AWAY!
Mom’s sometimes tell me about feeling this way when their children are demanding of their time or even sweetly asking for attention. It’s almost like a swell of resentment builds up and is threatening a release "if they ask me one more time", or ""if I don’t get a moment’s peace"… the potential ‘then what’ might sound like "I’m gonna SNAP".
The interesting point is that oftentimes we can, in fact, take responsibility for how our time is spent and we can balance demands in a way that is satisfying - and yet somehow we get in our own way and feel resentful towards our partner or our kids for demanding so much. Now granted there are an assortment of beliefs that COULD be possible support structures here -
- I’m not important,
- I’m not good enough,
- There is never enough for me,
- I’m the only one who knows how to fix this etc.
And we could address some of those beliefs here as well. What I want to explore for the time being though, is how the anger, blame and frustration are more familiar and present than the peace and joy that we think we seek. Reverting to the anger, blame and frustration seems to happen almost automatically, and there it stays…..and perhaps there is an added pile of guilt or shame tossed in afterward just like icing on the cake.
In exploring this resentment through a process with someone recently, I was curious if the resentment was a cover for another feeling or emotion (as is so often the case). I couldn’t help but wonder if, in moving through the resentment (as opposed to the usual staying in it, letting it simmer out and await the next trigger or flare up) we would discover another feeling or emotion that in some way supported the resentment as if it was a mask hiding something else.
This is an interesting process that is quite quick in relation to others - and it can offer a lot of new information when clients are seemingly stuck. What we discovered in a short amount of time was that in fact there was a level of fear initially, and then a sense of awe and curiosity - mixed with overwhelm. And, in moving through the surface ‘reaction’ we shifted into some of the feelings that were possibly more connected to where this person really ‘felt’ limited.
You see, in this new feeling, the person had no limits. Their experience of it was that they could explore anywhere they wanted to and do anything they chose….and the CHOICES seemed limitless and there was no need to compare themselves with anyone else. In fact, the fear was that they might burst out uncontrollably by accepting this limitless way of being. Greatness? Perhaps…
Enter in my own curiosity and interpretations - by no means have I confirmed the following ideas to be true or not with this particular person.
Sometimes people have lived their life knowing their place in the world because they measured themselves against someone else. In always ‘knowing’ that they were ‘less than’ or ‘better than’ they knew how they fit in and what their potential was supposed to be. i.e. If I unconsciously measure myself against a sibling that I felt ‘less than’, I will unconsciously make sure that I never get ‘better than’ - even if the world presents the opportunity. If my greatness were allowed to shine through it would be terrible and we can’t have that! So I may be resentful of you for making demands on the greatness that I’m not ’supposed’ to be, and I may also be resentful for having to stifle my greatness because really - Who wouldn’t want to be great? Follow me here?
Logically we can assess this and see that the beliefs create grief and by removing the limitations and shifting the beliefs we make room for the peace (and the potential greatness!) But when we live out these patterns without awareness we end up in the same old (resentful behaviour?) ruts. So how do you want to live your life?
Peak State Power
February 23rd, 2010 by adminHave you accessed your PSP lately? If not - what stops you? It is the state of being that allows all possibility and choice, and it is the state from which we have a limitless sense of personal strength and happiness.
It is also an originating source of manifestation - where creativity and possibility collide. Sometimes people get caught in the idea that all they must do is think positively. Repeating a mantra in your mind is a wonderful suggestion - it’s obvious that speaking kindly to ourselves is exponentially more useful than giving head space to the negative chatter that seems endlessly available to some. But ‘trying to think positive’ is not going to cut it; your desired results will continue to elude if you don’t combine it with supporting beliefs and Peak State Power experience.
Oftentimes clients will say to me at this point, "Well how do I do it?". Your first step is in the choice. You must decide to choose your own state of being as opposed to relying on the learned pattern of blaming others for how you feel. And then you must take responsibility for what you DO want to experience including the feelings and emotions and actions that come as a result.
Remember a time when you felt invincible? When for once things seemed as though they were going right and you could see your ducks in a row? Perhaps it is now - as springtime emerges and opening the windows to see the sparkle of sunlight and feeling the warmth on your arms is no longer a far off fantasy. Breath it in and allow the smile to spread across your face. Notice your power and hang onto this peak state for a minute longer than you think you can. How do you want to live your life?
The Woman Behind the Counter ~ Reprinted
February 5th, 2010 by adminThe other day I was in the Phoenix Airport on my way to a meeting in Denver. Unsure of how long it would take to get the car parked, get the luggage checked, get through the security line, and get to our gate, we (my husband Michael and I) ended up at the airport early. Once we parked our belongings at the gate, I did what I always do when I’m early to the airport; I headed toward the News Stand for the sole purpose of staring at the tabloid magazine covers. Yes, I know, it’s a nasty habit, but before you cast your stones, I should tell you I only allow myself to read the COVERS of the magazines. JUST the covers. And even in those few moments I can feel my brain cells rotting and my dislike for humanity mounting.
However, on this particular trip to the News Stand I witnessed something much more fascinating, and disturbing, than any tabloid could offer.
In this particular News Stand there was a friendly looking gentleman. He had a pleasant face that was graced with a cheerful smile. He and I were hovering in the same area; I was looking at the magazines, he was looking at the Snickers bars. Though, "looking" wouldn’t be the right word — "agonizing over" would be a better way of putting it. You see, this friendly-seeming man was about 200 pounds from healthy. As we stood silently by each other, I could hear him as he struggled to breathe, and watch him shift uncomfortably from foot to foot as he worked his way down the candy display.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he picked up a regular sized Snickers with his right hand and a KING sized Snickers with his left. He looked at his two options, back and forth, back and forth. He rolled them around in his hands, crinkled their wrappers, contemplating his decision. After at least a minute, he reached to put the regular sized one back … a shame, I thought. He was so close.
But then, like a flash of lightening from above, at the very last moment, he THREW the KING sized Snickers back. It landed atop the gum with a deafening THUD. The man turned and looked at me with regular Snickers in his hand. Gripped it tightly, shrugged, and smiled.
For a moment, I saw a glimpse of pride on his face; the kind of pride that comes from taking control of your life. Granted, it wasn’t the BEST decision, but it WAS a step in the right direction and it was clear he was pleased with himself. I smiled back and nodded; a silent congratulations for a job well done.
He took his regular sized Snickers strutted to the register where a 50ish woman waited. She was friendly in an abrasive sort of way, and as I moved to look at the cover of Men’s Health I heard her say to the man (who was still in the glow of his recent victory):
"Sure you don’t want the KING sized Snickers? Looks awful good…"
The man who had just made a good decision, froze. He stared at the woman behind the counter. In that moment, it was as if the Phoenix Airport stopped…. As he stared at the abrasive woman behind the counter, I stared at him. The woman reached for the KING sized and waved it in front of his face. "Don’t do it. Don’t do it," I willed him. But in the next moment, he nodded, took the KING sized Snickers, paid, and slowly walked away.
I wanted to say something, but it wasn’t my place. As he walked past, he didn’t look my way, instead he looked to the ground and to the KING sized decision he held in his hand.
Now, it would be easy to blame the woman behind the counter for the demise of our Snicker loving friend. She didn’t HAVE to offer him the KING size when he seemed to be perfectly content. However, it is not her fault; she was only doing her job (I swear they get paid on commission — every time I try to buy a magazi… I mean, a pack of gum… they always ask if I would like water or a snack. It can’t JUST be because they’re really concerned for my hydration or hunger). No, the responsibility lies solely in the man who ultimately made the choice.
We relate to this man. Whether you struggle with your weight, or you struggle to make good financial decisions. Maybe you make poor decisions, of any size, in your personal relationships. Whatever your vice may be (and there may be many), we have all been here before; on the brink of a breakthrough, only to fall short with no one to blame but ourselves. Whether you’ve been there once or been there 100 times, there is an important lesson to learn here; one that may not be the most obvious.
Who you are now does not determine who you will be.
I’ll say it again. Who you are now does not determine who you will be.
Sounds nice, right? Easy lesson, nice lesson, hopeful lesson. The catch is this: you have to MAKE it so. The difference between who you are NOW and who you will BE happens because of choice. It doesn’t have to be a heroic choice, it can be small/consistent choices made everyday in the right direction, that make the difference. But they MUST be made and can only be made by you.
How do you do this?
First: start seeing yourself NOW as the person you will BE. If you’re broke, start seeing yourself as un-broke. If you’re alone, see yourself wrapped in the warmth of a healthy relationship. If you’re heavier than you would like to be, see yourself thin.
Second: It is not enough to just SEE yourself there, you must start behaving in a way that mirrors the behaviors of the kind of person you will become. Un-broke people make sound decisions when it comes to finances — do that now. Healthy people find joy in salads and low-fat dressing — you should too.
Third: Stay focused. There is a good chance that others will continue to see you as you are now, and that’s ok. It’s not their fault. They may not be aware that you have made a decision to change; not aware that you are making small consistent decisions toward the person you want to become. They may not SEE those small decisions or REALIZE what they are adding up to. Stay focused on YOU. On YOUR vision for yourself. And don’t be afraid to verbalize your desires to those around you so they can aid in your transformation.
This is where I believe our friend at the candy counter went astray:
Perhaps he was seeing himself not as who he IS, but who he could BE — well, healthy, happy…
I KNOW he was making a small decision in the right direction…
But when he got to the counter, the abrasive woman saw him as he WAS: a man who "must" love KING sizes. And instead of staying focused, instead of standing as a warrior for his future-self, he crumbled with the words "I will always be this" ringing in his defeated ears.
We all relate to this story. We have all been there. I just urge you to not go there again. Fight for you future self, and beware the woman behind the counter.
When all was said and done, I walked out of the News Stand empty-handed and heavy hearted. I took my seat at Gate C27 and waited for our plane to arrive.
(Post Note: Michael ended up sitting next to this man on the plane. When I told Michael this story, looong after the flight, he said, "That makes it worse … he was such a nice guy.")
Kindra Hall
Kindra Hall is a storyteller with 18 years of experience. She shares her stories on stage, in coaching sessions, and on her blog: www.kindrahalltellsall.com . She works with organizations and individuals to discover, craft, and deliver their stories in order to more effectively communicate their mission and values. She has performed on the stage of the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, TN at the Exchange Place.
(copyright 2009 KindraHallTellsAll)
Hope in it’s Metaphorm
January 18th, 2010 by adminMy hope is connected to the universal ‘pool’ of hope. In my own experience, there is a universal collective that co-exists with peace & joy. That universal pool floods into my personal stores when they run low and my supply also replenishes that of the universal pool when a leak springs elsewhere.
My willingness is a force much like the hoover dam, and that mighty dam is powered by faith. The difference between hope and faith comes in the form of wisdom or knowing. Hope for me is the idea or the belief of ’something more’. Faith is the innate knowing that this is true. Sometimes the dam gets supercharged with energy when joy or excitement enter the mix. As though an extra log is put on the faith fire.
The dam operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to maintain whatever flow is required. The interesting thing I note is that it is not manned by anyone in particular - the keeper is faceless and nameless. Sometimes the keeper turns on all the lights of the dam and I take this as a sign of presence. However, even when the lights are dim, I know they will come on again.
The hope recharges the system.
It is both purpose and fuel.
It’s the evenings that get me….
January 7th, 2010 by admin"I have no problem during the day, it’s that lull when I get home - before supper, that I cave"
"It’s like an addiction… once I have one bite I just can’t seem to stop"
"I promised myself that THIS YEAR I would stick to it… so far I’ve done ok, but it’s only January 6th"
"I thought I would try and fill my calendar with positive things - I joined the gym (again), I’m trying a yoga class, and I haven’t had a bite of fast food (well unless you count Tim Horton’s cream of broccoli soup) so far this year"
"New Year, fresh start, I’m going for it … and I’m going to go back to weight watchers"
"I’ve tried everything … I’m pretty sure I need to just learn to be happy being big and heavy"
These are all statements I heard just yesterday. YESTERDAY ALONE. And I know I will hear more today, and tomorrow.
The puck has dropped. We are now in the midst of the flurry and scramble of activities to try and make this year the one in which everything comes together. Very soon the mad scramble will lose a little of it’s almost desperate drive, the rhythm will slow down a tempo or two for some, and others will re-position themselves once again as sideline observers because that is what is most familiar.
Many will give up again, citing it’s too hard, Monday is a new day, I’m too tired, the time isn’t right. There will be another few that actually lift their heads and look up. They may get a feeling for what is really required at this stage in order to ensure their plans unfold and results come to be.
It’s facinating really - how this dance occurs. I say it all the time to people - we stick with or revert back to what we know. It might not be comfortable or healthy or fun or fulfilling or rewarding to do what we do, we might be downright miserable… and it happens because it is familiar.
But when you learn how to shift the familiar pattern, the implications can be magical. Imagine if your unconscious patterns simply needed one extra mini step added to dramatically impact your success. How much longer are you willing to stay in familiar? What stops YOU from getting what you really want?